Thursday, March 3, 2011

My greatest fear is revealed

I am the ANGRY BLACK WOMAN in my early twenties.

What it would usually take most women decades before they become this way I have done in a few short years. My heartless and emotionless nature has made me what I did not want to become. I can only fault myself at this point for what I have become. My past is seemingly full of anger and bitter towards just about my entire laundry list of past relationship and friendships. I have been the girl who has dating ADD to the girl who men to get what she wants only to benefit herself.

My specialty was the delusion I could put on like everything was just as it should be all the while keeping people at an arms lenght can only keep so many people at bay for so long and once they get "too close" I shut it down like the power company that comes and turns off your lights during the evening hours. I do not feel any type of way about the abuse I caused or the havoc I may have left behind because those things are the things that I may have to face in the future or should I as the repercussions I will have to face in the future.

There is a black whole somewhere deep in my chest that holds a safe that has all the broken pieces of my heart in it. One of these day's I'll take the time to put it back together and show the world that I am not as unkind as I have led on to be and I am more loving than most would believe.

P.S. This post and future post maybe all over the place but that's where I am

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