Wednesday, December 23, 2009
School is GREAT
Right Place Right Time
New Boy from the last post
He's still here
We are going very well
Better than I ever thought after 5 months of knowing each other
My girls are doing fine *clears throat*
Ms. Need a Man has several men in her life
Nope not jealous
I believe the you should play the game
BUT not with your own HEART
Guess I'll be there again to watch it crash and burn
This time we'll have a come to Jesus Meeting
She's having a Blast in college
Taking advantage of being SINGLE
Hope she's truly happy with all her decisions
PARTY PARTY PARTY
I've missed two parties that I was suppose to attend
Mandy and Court both turned 21 without me *pout*
I'm sure they had a blast though
I have to say I'm pretty happy now
I hate that I'm never happy enough to stop looking
Settling down has that 'S' word I don't like to use
I'd rather have what I want than anything at all
He's what I want for now
I know that for sure
IF at any point this turns into what I had you know me
*Slamming the gas petal* *screeching tires*
I'll be out like a candle on a birthday cake
*NEW YEAR RESOLUTION*
Be real happy not just half way
P.S. He got married. I'm sure the others will to because I pray for them
Sunday, November 1, 2009
I been doing some adjustment in my life.
I'm 20 now and have decide that I need to make me happy
If not then who *hmm*
No matter what mess I make on the way it's my mess
Well I have started to cut a few more people out of my life
They aren't clearly dragging me down
But they are messing with my mind
Can't have that
I have one new additions in my life
You know the usual
I final got my payment after 2 years
MEMO: DON'T LOAN MONEY TO NO ONE WITHOUT THEM SIGNING SOMETHING
I feel like I'm on the right road
Now I just need to keep my promise
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Walking out of the movies with you was like a dream come true. As we walk to the car we talks about the movie. Upon approaching the car we start to talk about us falling asleep together a couple of day ago. We talks about us and what we were going to do. He didn't want to commit to me and I was just tires of playing couple when he wants. He and I enter my car to further the discussion. Once again it makes me emotional and a few tears fall from my face and he wipes them away. He then tells me that he wants see me emotional since usually they are nonexistent.
He strokes my face and we began to kiss intimately. In my mind I have dreamed of this moment for what seems like forever. He eases his hand between my legs feeling the warmth that is being exerts by my lust. He starts by rubbing me slowly through my Vicky’s making my wetness starts to leak through them and on to his hand. I shaking so bad I can't stay still, my leg is twitching and my body is craving for more. He moves my panties out of the way and plunges right into my lust. It quickens my breath as if I am breathless and began feeling my lust throbbing relentlessly in his hand. He keeps plunging his fingers repeatedly like he is reaching for my ecstasy. I regain some consciousness and tell him to stop. My mind and my body are arguing and I realize I can't do this with him. He means too much to just fuck and duck. I know I would become that girl who gets all attaches to a guy that just wants to fuck. It didn't matter to me how long we had know each other but every year flashes before my eyes and makes it real to me that he wants my lust and that is what really comprises him. He pulls out wipes his hand on the napkins I had.
We talk a little after that and a few days after that but when I couldn't get him to return a simple call or texts I realizes he don't want me just it. In June on his birthday I texts him "Happy Birthday this will be the first and last time you will hear that or anything else from me." To which he replies "Thanks". Well as you may imagine I am not over him, but I know he isn’t what I need now. As my one of my besties said “If he really cares for you in the way you think he does he will come back.” I replied to her, “He has come back once not sure if he will come back again.” She just looked at me and said “Well screw him you are great and I promise you will find another better.” UGH I hate female pep talks the are so predictable.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Knowing nothing till the end
Earning it more and more
Looking forward to what's in store
I fell with lustful eyes and an
Hating every second while we are apart
Hearing my minds eye "You're letting your feelings show"
Deep and long and tender to touch
Wanting to submerge myself in your much
Waiting for the time to come
Peaking at the top
Ready to hop
And fell from grace
Now I am don't wanna race
I am pushing you away
Out from my way
While the tears fall
I get bitter
Losing to her yearning time and time
Spending your last dime
Entertaining thoughts of her
Deepening the blur
Hint of it surfacing and bubbling
On all who can see
She is holding the key
Waiting on you to show her the way
The pathway to play
Enticed by every word on her lips
As you watch her hip
Sway in that methodical way
Praying that she may stay
Just a little longer than forever
Friday, June 19, 2009
This is a Short Film
Co-Wrote by Tina Divina and Director Ev Salomon. Directed by Ev Salomon.
Starring Ashlee Holland and Lamon Archey.
Poem by Tina Divina.
"Say you tried and now you wanna say good bye." *Ugh* I hate feeling like that but in the case of this story it has a little more "Fatal Attraction" factor to this. I guess once you really fall for a person it can make you crazy. One day I will understand how much love takes you over inside and outside if a relationship.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Take a look and see that you'll find
A pack of men in her hand
Ready to fulfill all her demands
Bending over backwards for her attention
And I forgot to mention
The lust she uses is addictive
Once hooked you can't use Prescriptive
To hide and cover up the blemish
Lust for her will never diminish
Even though she is through
Her wounds won't stop hurting you
Making you need her in more ways than one
Then realizing life ain't much fun
Without her the extra piece of peace on the side
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I am so not use to staying in one place for long time because it starts to drive me nuts. I am starting to hate everything and everybody that comes along with it. It has even got so bad that I just can't hold my tongue anymore when people ask me "What should I do?", but they really mean to say is “Can you approve what I want to do”? I am just ready to escape from the bull shit that surrounds me because it is getting so old. Not it is old, been old, like last month old, UGH so over this
I have a few reasons (like itty bitty) to stay but they are not any of the good kind either. They are all for other people, which I heard is not a good reason to do anything but obviously I am still here so it’s working (sort of).
I have started to fall back into old habits smoking to numb myself to the restlessness I feel on an everyday basis. Cursing people out like the stereotypical black woman, which I am not. Telling people how I feel no matter how it makes them feel as long as it makes me feel better in the long term. I need to move, I need a change of pace ASAP. I may have to resort to some extreme behavior so that I have to be removed.
P.S. This songs applies to my mind but the situation of cheating doesn't apply to me.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I fell for your lies
Especially that look in your eyes
You stare at the real me
Well beneath thee
I wanted it so bad
Craving what I've never had
Reaching for something
Pumping up myself with mess
Causing myself distress
While looking into your eye
As you tell me lies
The lies that I must believe
Destined to achieve
The false love I need
Saturday, April 11, 2009
LOVE OR LUST
I choose lust
Maybe it chooses me
Why are we afraid of love?
Is it the the fact you may have to sacrifice yourself?
Lust is easy
But not easily quenched
"Fuck the world with a long dick" - Lil Wayne
So in the beginning of a relationship why do you test me?
I may fail
Then you won't look at me the same
Lust makes you believe you want it
Until you get it
Life looks so good when you are a child
Until they remove the shield and you get hurt
Love seems unobtainable
But it seems like it is worth the reach
Until it is put into reverse
Love is like that killer heel in the store
But the catch is you can't buy it
I have fallen in love before though
The LBD (little black dress)
A Guess Bag
I knew I was in love no question about it
I had this face when I got it
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Totally been felling like this
So I decided not to post till I felt like this
I have been on the worse emotional roller coaster ever
I didn't go through it alone though which is nice
This growing up thing is hard
I think back to the days of this
Things I think I know at 20
- Dudes 20-25 can't make up their mind to save their own lives *exception of a few*
- I make more money than people with masters
- Being able to escape saves my life
- If he say this is going the way he planned that mean u (the chick) are the problem
- I may never have that close relationship with my mother and I am good with that
- Being best friends with dudes is a blast and will forever be
- I don't wanna get married
- I like a man with a plan not one who is looking at me for one
- I am simple and easy to please
- I don't play hard to get
- I am hard to get
- I believe there is no such thing as a soul mate too many single woman for that statistic to work out
- I will be at everyone's wedding *Miss 27 Suits and Dresses*
- Waiting on someone is a waste unless after he moves on
- Sex ain't all that all the time
- Going to a strip club is way better than going to a lounge or dance club about 80% of the time
- People in college may never grow up
- You can't cheat if you were never together
- Being pigeon footed is not a problem that I can fix
- WONDER IF I YOU'LL EVER FIND OUT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE
P.S. I feel bad for women name Keisha they get brutalized in songs all the time damn. Suck for you
Friday, February 13, 2009
I know this is a lot but if you get confused somewhere let me know.
Well we went on and on about this for a while but this is basically the meat and bones of the situation. Have you ever felt like "If I never have to go out with another dude I would be ok with that". Is this a part of life and growing up or and I just screwed up in the head like that.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I mean there is no good reason to hit a woman but if a woman get buck like a man you should get handled like one (boxed her up).
She probably got all 'Single Ladies' and 'I Don't Need A Man' on him and he was just fed up.
I think I am going back to dating white men exclusively
Sorry black men but you all gotta start acting right
Could be me though?
How does a man say he wanna be with you but then act like you don't exist?
He just want the goodies only.
*Snatches plate* My goodies Nicca
Why does popcorn smell like feet but when it burn it just plan ol' stinks.
Is that what burnt feet smell like?
Did you know Lady Gaga is the ish?
If not you know now
Wanna send a special F-you to a special person.
Thanks for the discount
OMG I think I may be a real biatch compared to you others
JK I am nice to everyone
What is the original purpose of the ability to lie?
I personally hate and shy away from doing it.
If I get told I have a big butt one more time I will scream
because I can't find it.
You are a liar (arrrrrggggg)
SO tired of people saying they think I am cute
"Really Me too"
Is being a bitch a part of being crazy?
I love this man's body. Look delicious.
What is going on in this crazy world?
I need money where is the money at?
In my pocket.
Who can up with the idea of Valentine's Day?
It's a gimmick
Don't you show me you love me every day?
But you should
Why are women so separated and divide?
Reasons why I don't hang with them
Love my boys
Boys are like the sea shore
The are beautiful but shallow.
Naaa I am not crazy
Just like to play fare
This is real love
I love shoes
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Kissing me like him
What's the difference
It's the same hindrance
No real connection
Just wanna use protection
I let them ease up to me
Getting closer to me
Roll the dice
See if you both can score
Not like those whores
Who don't want more
I need a foundation
Before you get this creation
Over the fascination of sex
Going to get me that respect
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The one you want is the one you can have
But the one(s) you can have you don't want
Even if you do want them it only a momentary fix
Definitely a rida if I like ya
"Can't believe what you have done to me" - Mya (No Touching)
In most cases/situations I take what I want
I have only been ready to jump twice
Once I actually did it and no body caught me
I ran like the wind after that
And ever since but now I am tired
I hate the saying this quote "The grass looks greener on the other side"
No it is greener I have been over there
I think I am narcissistic but I am ok with that
Men are not all dogs
Some look like other animal Prefect example
When does the cool chick get what she wants
I am soooooooooo young it's scary to think on day I will alone
O hell no
Someone wanna be my roommate PLEASE!
How does a guy say "Ain't nothing wrong with me"
But follow it with "I ain't perfect"
Well don't they cancel out HMMM
Maybe I am too picky
Nope I want what I got or better
A car, two spots, a job, higher education
Definitely not too much
It never really phases me to be without a "MAN"
Because they are never around long
I have one Man in my life
Definitely not over him
He is where my standards come from
Friday, January 16, 2009
That I am ready to give up but you show up
I guess that's cool
We have only been talking on and off for a YEAR
You ask me to do something that I usually give you
Now I don't want to do it
You think I am going somewhere
When you know I am not
Maybe you are going somewhere with someone new
That I hate when people lie
You ain't gotta lie Craig!
I don't need a man but would like to have one
Some men think their is nothing wrong with them
But you are not prefect
No you are not just crazy
I know I am crazy but know one believes me
You hang the phone up in my face
But you wonder why you have four flats
Karma's a Bitch
Black Men don't watch Grey's Anatomy, CSI, or Law and Order
White men watch it
BET has always sucked and now so does MTV
Hip Hop Is not Dead but Pop Culture is
I am not thick but I am forever getting told my butt is big
Oooo you lying
Always wonder what I would look like at 200lbs
I feel like dancing at my job
So COLD in Georgia
2o freaking degrees
I am walking outside look like an Eskimo
It's like 60 in Miami
I am moving forget GA in the winter
I am pidgin toed or is it footed
Men wanna see me but they don't wanna drive
How else you suppose to get here
That college is fun to me
Maybe cause I don't stay there
Aaliyah will live on
Men seem to keep me on their roster
But they have never gotten any
Women keep thing from a ex
Let it go it's over
Why is it I love the Claudia Jordan show
These girl are too funny and they are naturally pretty
Check out their Myspace page Claudia Jordan Show
Why is it you love to hate a man?