That Thing You On

You're so wrapped up in this addiction that is another person.

What happens when they leave you because they see who you really are. The girl who compromises everything about herself just to be with someone. 

What happens when the show is over and you can't  perform this dramatic interpretation of yourself? How are you gonna feel about you? Are you gonna notice that you faked it again. 

I thought you weren't that girl that's what you said but it's certainly not what you're doing. You are the epitome of a contradiction here. Yea I know we all are but this isn't just sacrificing this is committing suicide to your true self or maybe this is your true self. The woman who has not backbone,  no goal, all bark no bite, no action just talk.

Is the girl you say you are not attractive? I'm okay with not anyone's fantasy if I get to be at peace with me at night. 

You are everything I despise about women. I see it repeated over and over. You cave until your broken into 1billion piece all the while he's only giving an inch. 

If this is what it takes to be with someone...

Now I don't care...

You're on you're own

Emily King writes the story of my life

"I still wish things were good just like they used to be;
two friends who fell in love trapped in the mystery;
we had so much in common and we laughed at everything;
that was long ago before you went and changed;
before we lost control before we started to fight;
before you raised your voice before I left that night;
and now I'm left here crying out head up to the sky;
trying to get back to the point when we were right;
you keep pulling me DOWN" - Emily King.

Thank you for writing the story of my love life way back when. I discovered Emily years ago so I figured I should finally share her with others. She's a beautiful for woman with a beautiful collection of songs. Please run and check her out

Baby We Just Happened ...

We were once the best of friends
Knowing nothing till the end
Earning it more and more
Looking forward to what's in store
I fell with lustful eyes and an open heart
Hating every second while we are apart
Hearing my minds eye "You're letting your feelings show"
They grow
Deep and long and tender to touch
Wanting to submerge myself in your much
Waiting for the time to come
Peaking at the top
Ready to hop
And
I jumped
Then bumped
And fell from grace
Now I am don't wanna race
I am pushing you away
Out from my way
While the tears fall
The wall
Gets bigger
I get bitter

Mistress, Lover, Best Friend, Woman

Put no one above her

Losing to her yearning time and time

Spending your last dime

Entertaining thoughts of her

Deepening the blur

Hint of it surfacing and bubbling

Over popping

On all who can see

She is holding the key

Waiting on you to show her the way

The pathway to play

Enticed by every word on her lips

As you watch her hip

Sway in that methodical way

Praying that she may stay

Just a little longer than forever

Crazy In Love

This is a Short Film
Co-Wrote by Tina Divina and Director Ev Salomon. Directed by Ev Salomon.
Starring Ashlee Holland and Lamon Archey.
Poem by Tina Divina.
"Say you tried and now you wanna say good bye." *Ugh* I hate feeling like that but in the case of this story it has a little more "Fatal Attraction" factor to this. I guess once you really fall for a person it can make you crazy. One day I will understand how much love takes you over inside and outside if a relationship.

False Love

I fell for your lies

Especially that look in your eyes

You stare at the real me

Well beneath thee

I wanted it so bad

Craving what I've never had

Reaching for something

Constantly pumping

Pumping up myself with mess

Causing myself distress

While looking into your eye

As you tell me lies

The lies that I must believe

Destined to achieve

The false love I need

Lust For Princess and Life

SO sooner than later u have to choose
LOVE OR LUST

I choose lust
Maybe it chooses me

Why are we afraid of love?
Is it the the fact you may have to sacrifice yourself?

Lust is easy
But not easily quenched

"Fuck the world with a long dick" - Lil Wayne
HUH?

So in the beginning of a relationship why do you test me?
I may fail
Then you won't look at me the same
Strange ummm

Lust makes you believe you want it
Until you get it

Life looks so good when you are a child
Until they remove the shield and you get hurt

Love seems unobtainable
But it seems like it is worth the reach
Until it is put into reverse

Love is like that killer heel in the store
But the catch is you can't buy it

I'd rather be in lust than love
More rational
More balanced

I have fallen in love before though
With who?
The G1
The LBD (little black dress)
A Guess Bag

I knew I was in love no question about it
I had this face when I got it

I forgot one thing the SO FAR GONE MIXTAPE

Drake has a lust for life
I have a lust for him in my ...

Oops almost let that out
Lust is for me
Love is in the future but I ain't looking for it

----------------
Now playing: Drake - Ignant Shit (feat. Lil' Wayne)
via FoxyTunes

20 Things I know at 20

Hello peeps

Totally been felling like this

So I decided not to post till I felt like this


I have been on the worse emotional roller coaster ever

I didn't go through it alone though which is nice

This growing up thing is hard

I think back to the days of this


Things I think I know at 20

1. Dudes 20-25 can't make up their mind to save their own lives *exception of a few*
2. I make more money than people with masters
   
3. Being able to escape saves my life
   
4. If he say this is going the way he planned that mean u (the chick) are the problem
5. I may never have that close relationship with my mother and I am good with that
6. Being best friends with dudes is a blast and will forever be
7. I don't wanna get married
8. I like a man with a plan not one who is looking at me for one
9. I am simple and easy to please
10. I don't play hard to get
11. I am hard to get
12. I believe there is no such thing as a soul mate too many single woman for that statistic to work out
13. I will be at everyone's wedding *Miss 27 Suits and Dresses*
14. Waiting on someone is a waste unless after he moves on
15. Sex ain't all that all the time
16. Going to a strip club is way better than going to a lounge or dance club about 80% of the time
17. People in college may never grow up
18. You can't cheat if you were never together
19. Being pigeon footed is not a problem that I can fix
20. WONDER IF I YOU'LL EVER FIND OUT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE

I am pretty sure about these thing at 20 as I can be but their is room for growth so we will see what this next year will bring

P.S. I feel bad for women name Keisha they get brutalized in songs all the time damn. Suck for you

What's next???

Every man's dream

Is very delicate flower

He dreams about her

Every single hour

She can be anything

But he only wants one

She has never been so wrapped up

Her game is usually on point

She is falling for him

Like the time before

Blind to what everyone else does

Her friends ask "why you going back"

She can't help it he sucks her in

She can smell the game

Spilling through the phone

But she is left speechless by his flattery

The flattery is charming

But never seems to last

She believes they may be meant to be

All her girls are there

Making sure she doesn't break

She is very curious what this may be

Loves the lust too much to resist

Wants more of him

He rejects her

But those feeling remain the same

She realizes he could be different

Maybe he moving on

He has a yo-yo girl he can always bring back

Yo-yo girl is her is you is ...

I

Looking Back at NCJ

Behind was you but now you are here in face

I can't erase you from my life

You have come back twice

Even after what happened the last time

I will not allow you to hurt me unintentionally or intentionally

I told you the last time how I felt about you

You have to leave me alone for my own sake

I am so fragile that I break myself

To you I am just another girl on your list

I have no meaning to you at all

I figured out why we stopped talking

It is because you consistently lie

Or maybe I just don’t believe you

But the chuckle in the background is not comforting

Am I the front, the back, or someone you seem to remember out of convince

Or ever so clearly that you can’t forget me

I wish you could be as clear as I am

I know what I want and I will have it

You are my favorite nothing with or without you