That Thing You On

You're so wrapped up in this addiction that is another person.

What happens when they leave you because they see who you really are. The girl who compromises everything about herself just to be with someone. 

What happens when the show is over and you can't  perform this dramatic interpretation of yourself? How are you gonna feel about you? Are you gonna notice that you faked it again. 

I thought you weren't that girl that's what you said but it's certainly not what you're doing. You are the epitome of a contradiction here. Yea I know we all are but this isn't just sacrificing this is committing suicide to your true self or maybe this is your true self. The woman who has not backbone,  no goal, all bark no bite, no action just talk.

Is the girl you say you are not attractive? I'm okay with not anyone's fantasy if I get to be at peace with me at night. 

You are everything I despise about women. I see it repeated over and over. You cave until your broken into 1billion piece all the while he's only giving an inch. 

If this is what it takes to be with someone...

Now I don't care...

You're on you're own

Our Last Time

Portrait of Kristen and Michael

Walking out of the movies with you was like a dream come true. As we walk to the car we talks about the movie. Upon approaching the car we start to talk about us falling asleep together a couple of day ago. We talks about us and what we were going to do. He didn't want to commit to me and I was just tires of playing couple when he wants. He and I enter my car to further the discussion. Once again it makes me emotional and a few tears fall from my face and he wipes them away. He then tells me that he wants see me emotional since usually they are nonexistent.

He strokes my face and we began to kiss intimately. In my mind I have dreamed of this moment for what seems like forever. He eases his hand between my legs feeling the warmth that is being exerts by my lust. He starts by rubbing me slowly through my Vicky’s making my wetness starts to leak through them and on to his hand. I shaking so bad I can't stay still, my leg is twitching and my body is craving for more. He moves my panties out of the way and plunges right into my lust. It quickens my breath as if I am breathless and began feeling my lust throbbing relentlessly in his hand. He keeps plunging his fingers repeatedly like he is reaching for my ecstasy. I regain some consciousness and tell him to stop. My mind and my body are arguing and I realize I can't do this with him. He means too much to just fuck and duck. I know I would become that girl who gets all attaches to a guy that just wants to fuck. It didn't matter to me how long we had know each other but every year flashes before my eyes and makes it real to me that he wants my lust and that is what really comprises him. He pulls out wipes his hand on the napkins I had.

We talk a little after that and a few days after that but when I couldn't get him to return a simple call or texts I realizes he don't want me just it. In June on his birthday I texts him "Happy Birthday this will be the first and last time you will hear that or anything else from me." To which he replies "Thanks". Well as you may imagine I am not over him, but I know he isn’t what I need now. As my one of my besties said “If he really cares for you in the way you think he does he will come back.” I replied to her, “He has come back once not sure if he will come back again.” She just looked at me and said “Well screw him you are great and I promise you will find another better.” UGH I hate female pep talks the are so predictable.

Crazy In Love

This is a Short Film
Co-Wrote by Tina Divina and Director Ev Salomon. Directed by Ev Salomon.
Starring Ashlee Holland and Lamon Archey.
Poem by Tina Divina.
"Say you tried and now you wanna say good bye." *Ugh* I hate feeling like that but in the case of this story it has a little more "Fatal Attraction" factor to this. I guess once you really fall for a person it can make you crazy. One day I will understand how much love takes you over inside and outside if a relationship.

The Mistress

Well this is a poem I wrote about 4 years ago while I was still in high school. At this time I was dating a married man who made me feel like the only chick that mattered to him. During this time he was taking care of me in every way (mentally, physically, emotionally) making sure I was okay before he left to be with his wife. But any way this poem express how I felt when I was with any man who already had a lady whether that be wife, girl friend, or lover. I was the . . .

Man Watching Lover Sleep-Image by © Vincent Besnault/zefa/Corbis

The Mistress

She walks with seduction on mind

Take a look and see that you'll find

A pack of men in her hand

Ready to fulfill all her demands

Bending over backwards for her attention

And I forgot to mention

The lust she uses is addictive

Once hooked you can't use Prescriptive

To hide and cover up the blemish

Lust for her will never diminish

Even though she is through

Her wounds won't stop hurting you

Making you need her in more ways than one

Then realizing life ain't much fun

Without her the extra piece of peace on the side

Lust For Princess and Life

SO sooner than later u have to choose
LOVE OR LUST

I choose lust
Maybe it chooses me

Why are we afraid of love?
Is it the the fact you may have to sacrifice yourself?

Lust is easy
But not easily quenched

"Fuck the world with a long dick" - Lil Wayne
HUH?

So in the beginning of a relationship why do you test me?
I may fail
Then you won't look at me the same
Strange ummm

Lust makes you believe you want it
Until you get it

Life looks so good when you are a child
Until they remove the shield and you get hurt

Love seems unobtainable
But it seems like it is worth the reach
Until it is put into reverse

Love is like that killer heel in the store
But the catch is you can't buy it

I'd rather be in lust than love
More rational
More balanced

I have fallen in love before though
With who?
The G1
The LBD (little black dress)
A Guess Bag

I knew I was in love no question about it
I had this face when I got it

I forgot one thing the SO FAR GONE MIXTAPE

Drake has a lust for life
I have a lust for him in my ...

Oops almost let that out
Lust is for me
Love is in the future but I ain't looking for it

----------------
Now playing: Drake - Ignant Shit (feat. Lil' Wayne)
via FoxyTunes

20 Things I know at 20

Hello peeps

Totally been felling like this

So I decided not to post till I felt like this


I have been on the worse emotional roller coaster ever

I didn't go through it alone though which is nice

This growing up thing is hard

I think back to the days of this


Things I think I know at 20

1. Dudes 20-25 can't make up their mind to save their own lives *exception of a few*
2. I make more money than people with masters
   
3. Being able to escape saves my life
   
4. If he say this is going the way he planned that mean u (the chick) are the problem
5. I may never have that close relationship with my mother and I am good with that
6. Being best friends with dudes is a blast and will forever be
7. I don't wanna get married
8. I like a man with a plan not one who is looking at me for one
9. I am simple and easy to please
10. I don't play hard to get
11. I am hard to get
12. I believe there is no such thing as a soul mate too many single woman for that statistic to work out
13. I will be at everyone's wedding *Miss 27 Suits and Dresses*
14. Waiting on someone is a waste unless after he moves on
15. Sex ain't all that all the time
16. Going to a strip club is way better than going to a lounge or dance club about 80% of the time
17. People in college may never grow up
18. You can't cheat if you were never together
19. Being pigeon footed is not a problem that I can fix
20. WONDER IF I YOU'LL EVER FIND OUT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE

I am pretty sure about these thing at 20 as I can be but their is room for growth so we will see what this next year will bring

P.S. I feel bad for women name Keisha they get brutalized in songs all the time damn. Suck for you

The Real Battle

On the left she stands

Ready to play the game she has grown to love

On the right she stand

Heart in hand wanting to give it to any man who'll love her

On the left she stands

Spitting a game thick it'll make any man sick

On the right she stands

With a heart so pure and touched

On the left she stands

Luring men in with each syllable

On the right she stands

Wishing she could enjoy the love of a man

On the left she stands

Making this man believe he can have her

On the right she stands

Just waiting on the real thing

On the left she stands

Protecting 'She' on the right

From ever getting hurt again

Like she was with the last Man

What's next???

Every man's dream

Is very delicate flower

He dreams about her

Every single hour

She can be anything

But he only wants one

She has never been so wrapped up

Her game is usually on point

She is falling for him

Like the time before

Blind to what everyone else does

Her friends ask "why you going back"

She can't help it he sucks her in

She can smell the game

Spilling through the phone

But she is left speechless by his flattery

The flattery is charming

But never seems to last

She believes they may be meant to be

All her girls are there

Making sure she doesn't break

She is very curious what this may be

Loves the lust too much to resist

Wants more of him

He rejects her

But those feeling remain the same

She realizes he could be different

Maybe he moving on

He has a yo-yo girl he can always bring back

Yo-yo girl is her is you is ...

I

At first site

Bodies communicating

Without words

Touching and feeling

Without words

Heighten senses reaching peaks

Without words

Caressing the heart

Without words

Passions palpable

Without words

So deeply intertwined

Without words

Can't breath

Without words

Weakening knees

Without words

Strengthening urges

Without words

Removed from this world

Without words

Love or Lust at first site

Which is it? Have you ever felt this way?